OH WE GET LETTERS
FURTHER PROOF WE'RE ALL NOT ON THE SAME PAGE ...or even the same planet
 
 
A few years back I created a web site for my old high school.  Milford High School is located in Milford, Ohio.  See:  Milford, Ohio  The site was quite large and was intended to be a cyber reunion site.  I got a lot of very positive feedback.  I also created a facetious—totally tongue in cheek—humor site about the town of Milford's history.  See:  Milford History   I sometimes used the pen name, Gregory Potemkin.
HERE ARE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE MESSAGES TO DATE.  WE HAVE CHANGED NAMES TO PROTECT IDENTITIES AND HAVE OBSCURED THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT BE PRINTED.  THE GRAMMAR, SPELLING, PUNCTUATION AND WRITING STYLES HAVE BEEN PRETTY MUCH LEFT UNTOUCHED—GIVE OR TAKE A LITTLE CREATIVE LICENSE HERE AND THERE.  WE HAVE USED THE NAME "NIXON" TO REPLACE ACTUAL NAMES.  ON OCCASION, WE HAVE COMBINED A SERIES OF COMMENTS INTO ONE FOR BREVITY.  OUR RESPONSES ARE IN BLUE AND MARKED ANS.   I WON'T PRINT NAMES.  I FEEL OUTING PEOPLE JUST ADDS MORE TORMENT TO AN ALREADY DISTURBED MIND.  I WOULDN'T WANT SOMEONE TO WAKE FROM A THREE DAY BENDER AND FIND THEY'VE DISGRACED THEMSELVES IN PRINT.
GOOD MORNING BILL,

WE  HAVE EARLIER PICTURES THAN THESE FOR YOUR SITE -- WE DO LIKE THE LITTLE CHANGES
"you" HAVE TRIED TO MAKE, BUT IT WOULD SEEM TO US THAT YOU ARE NOT THAT FAMILIAR 
WITH THE REAL MILFORD BACK IN THE 50'S ---IF INTERESTED - WE SHALL TALKMILFORD GRADS 
WE ARE SURPRISED YOU HAVE NOT HEARD OF US
WE SHALL BE AWAITING AN ANSWER SOON - AND PERHAPS WE CAN COME TOGETHER 
HERE - AGAIN WE DO WANT TO SAY, GLAD YOU HAVE UPDATED YOUR SMALL SITE 
SOMEWHAT-HOWEVER; THERE IS MUCH TO BE DONE WITH IT.

..by the way - is there anyway you can lose some of that ugly weight and look SORT 
of human

or do you just sit on your butt all day---looking at porn?

SINCERELY,
MHS GRADS

ANS.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR INSIGHTFUL LETTER AND CONCERNS.  UNFORTUNATELY, AT THE PRESENT TIME I AM HESITANT TO BECOME INVOLVED PROFESSIONALLY WITH PEOPLE WHO APPEAR TO LACK THE ABILITY TO EXPRESS A COHERENT THOUGHT.  I  WOULD BE WILLING TO CONSIDER YOUR PHOTOS IF THEY CONTAIN NONE OF THE PORN YOU SEEM OBSESSED WITH.  I FOUND YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT MY HEALTH TOUCHING.  THEY ONLY CONFIRM MY SUSPICION THAT YOU YOURSELF, MAY HAVE BEEN TOUCHED IN A VERY SPECIAL WAY. 

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...You cannot get it together, OLD bill, and get different music and come UP with some more old photos 
which YOU continue to turn down---now why is that ???????---are you such a perverted dude, you do not 
want anyone else in your territory, OR perhaps you have many many other problems...name is NIXON, and 
friends are both interested in helping YOU with your site---which has a lot of work.....so send us an email 
as soon as you receive this lovely email...OK Bill....sorry, but "WE" never noticed you in HIGHSCHOOL, 
but since I engaged in this, "I" - NIXON, for some reason was told to look up your site...now your site needs
to me, needs a little work.  I or We would advise you not to turn down this email as you seem to always do...

Sincerely,
"NIXON"  - class of 19** good old MHS

ANS.  NIXON, YOU  CERTAINLY HAVE A WAY WITH OUR LANGUAGE.  WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE OUR PROOFREADER?  PUNCTUATION CHECKER?  HAT  RACK?  SERIOUSLY THOUGH, YOUR LETTER DID ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.  YOU HAVE TO BE THE OLDEST WOMAN WHO EVER USED THE WORD 'DUDE' IN A CONVERSATION OR LETTER!  I SUSPECT THE  TWO OF YOU KEEP THE RETIREMENT HOME ROCKING.  I BELIEVE I WILL PASS ON YOUR OFFER.

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...hi bill- too bad you feel this way - but I remember YOU in highschool - but WE (My gal and I) have 
plenty of money to do so...so since you have a very closed mind, that is where we (My guy and I) shall 
take it, bill...sorry.

ANS.  WELL WHICH IS IT MR. AND MS. DUDE, DO YOU REMEMBER ME OR DON'T YOU?  MY WHOLE SENSE OF SELF ESTEEM RIDES ON YOUR ANSWER.  THE WAY I UNDERSTAND YOUR LETTER, YOU HAVE PLENTY OF MONEY TO REMEMBER ME AND YOU INTEND TO TAKE IT TO MY MIND.  WOULDN'T A DRUM OF GINGKO BILOBA BE A WISER USE OF THE PENSION MONEY?  

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Hi there Bill,
What is going on here with my gal   and NIXON?  This is NIXONand I need to receive an email or I shall call 
you myself in the next 20 minutes.  You and  one other have been picking on my gal, buddy.  I will come 
down there myself if  I have to.  I know the way and you remember me I am sure of that.NIXON class of 19XX
I have read all of her messages from this jerk NIXON and I want it stopped.  He calls my business and my home 
all the time.  I want a reply sometime this evening.  I am home now, and if the two of you do not stop picking on 
my gal, court shall come very early for the two of you.

ANS.    IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU MAY BE THE TARGET OF A PLOT BY A NEFARIOUS GROUP CALLED "THE PARANOIDS."  THE BEST WAY TO STOP THESE PEOPLE IS TO REPORT THEM TO THE NEAREST MENTAL HOSPITAL.  TELL THE PEOPLE THERE THAT "THE PARANOIDS" ARE AFTER YOU AND I'M SURE THE STAFF WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE HELPED.

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Don't tell us what to do!
 

ANS.  I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT IT WAS MY WEEK TO WATCH YOU1

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Your site stink

ANS. Thanks for the constructive criticism and thanks for demonstrating your communication skills!

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F*** you stockland.  President Nixon never got drunk and the school never burnt down.  What else have you 
lied about on your stinking web site.  I don't know where you got the pictures but most of your stories are full of it.  There was never a blimp factory.  I have been here since the 1954's and there was never an animal attack or fire.  And there is no hill for those statues. 
  They have jail for people that make money lying and you are it.  How dare you make fun of President Bush.  it is treason and you should be arrest until you understand what freedom  means.  Your a terrorist supporter.  I hope they close you down.  I have all the yearbooks and there is no Potemkins  in any class.  Who are you?

ANS.  You got me!  Actually, neither Milford High School nor the city of Milford ever existed...I made it all up. The site where we have pretended the old school to be located is actually a used car lot in a town called West  Goshen which sits just across the Little Miami River from Terrace Park.  Pretty funny huh?

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Do you live in Ohio or Florida.  I heard you moved.  Which is it?  We want to know.

ANS.  I live on in all men...no wait, even I won't start that...someone like you would probably think I'm serious. 
Florida is my home.

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You think you're so smart...why don't you come see me.

ANS.  That's going to be tough when the only addresses you ever give are a series of quickly abandoned e-mail 
addresses.  Do you live in a computer?  Is your name Byte?  I'm tempted to say: "Then byte this" but there is no 
reason to be mean spirited.

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Dear Bill,
Here is a list of the people Clinton and his wife have murdered.  (She really sent me a list of 
about 30 people she thinks were murdered by our president!!)

ANS.  I'm sorry I won't print your list...unless they all attended MHS.   Must you fall for everything my little air headed friend?
 
Dear Bill,
Here are opportunities to pray for  President Bush this week. (She sent a detailed list)

ANS. Sorry I can't print this list either.  Is God telling you when to lie about a President and when to pray  for one?

You're using that site for your own political agenda.  Everything you say is an insult to everything 
I believe in.

ANS. I'm guessing this would not be a good time to ask your support for my candidacy for (fill-in the blank).  When did Apple Pie first become threatening to you?

Dear Bill
  I suppose you'll have Jane Fonda on your site.

ANS. Thanks for the information.  Please send me the dates when  she attended Milford High School.

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  your site old stockland is not accurate and many things are 
untrue how do you get by with this on the internet  and advertising your site on other sites is a no brainer 
:X and NIXON  you are all just as dull as you were in high school  tell NIXON. that NIXON  NIXON  is still 
selling  diss

ANS.   Mr. No Name

NOW THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.  IT IS A PLEASURE TO RECEIVE SUCH A WELL WRITTEN 
LETTER.  ARE THEY  TREATING YOU WELL IN THE INSTITUTION?  HOW IS THE FOOD?

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You liberals hate everything American.  You can't even have an American religion like Christianity like real 
americans have.  Your always having religions that started in other countries like Buddhism and  Muslim. 
God bless America everyone else can get out.  You don't dare to print this.  Why won't you print this letter.

ANS.  You have converted me!  You're right.  From now on we'll only quote from the King James version of the Bible.  Hey, if it was good enough for Jesus and the Apostles, it should be good enough for us!!  Yo Glory!  Gimmee  that old time religion.

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You should be repoirted

ANS.   Assuming you mean reported, may I ask to whom I am to be reported?  The principal?  The Internet Czar?  Perhaps you did mean repoirted and you have your own little world in which you live.  Let me guess...you're a Libertarian, right? I wish you peace.

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I was popular in high school and I dated famous people like Johnny Bench in college.  I dated him in 1961 when I was home from college.  I dated other famous people.


ANS.  Why are you telling me this?  I hate to tell you this but Johnny Bench was born in 1947.  In the summer of '61 he would have been 13 years old and living as an unknown  teen in Binger, Oklahoma.  You dated a 13 year old boy while you were in College?  I hope you behaved yourself.
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