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| covenants and faded risks |
| all the bad karma going now slipping rapidly away in its place crescendos of roaring feelings... elation wave upon wave heart beating uncontrolled come now words of camus tell me of how absurdity pales of how revolt grants majesty in the struggle to the heights of mind exploding scorn... life indeed worth living at last... scenes wrung from every drop of essence come now road man teach by your frantic frenetic chase tell me of comfort god and highways ribboning to forever i choose to remember you anxious and searching and living heroes of my past coming forward with welcome leers... lead me on define me and be me... show me the steps whereby stars shine through clouds... how mists build castles show me sincerity in make believe drive my pulse to staccato bursts bury me in mists and forests and my own mind... lead me screaming in delight of the light bless me... pry into my mind to where the raptor reigns amid spires... sentinels forever snow clad and beyond dirty air and bad faith release the images locked in fear... release the feelings imprisoned in images inject the mind drugs natural ecstasy so divine real delight timeless lead me now my frantic manic beast... creature i've come to adore teach me the steps to tread on absurdity... better... show me the rungs absurdity built and i'll climb them forever higher and higher and more free come now quickly words of eternal youth time master keeper of the sacred scroll knower of the secret truth that the only rule is surely there is no rule... it's been a lifetime it has strugglin' to know a lord thinking it was required to have some force a being supreme to direct the course... fool's journey it was for battered badly now i know the magic of the mystic is in the music... and the singer calls the tune too long it took to know it longer it'll be 'fore i neglect it christ, buddha, and surely all the rest masters my apologies for the ages it was a believers cult you sought a world of sly deceivers was what you got messengers bringing only lies and distortions of a source with which i have no complaint humble respect... the truth be known be conscious my soul one's fate is never avoided masters of the soul cry out where are you now? where are you in contrast to the depths from which i speak and remember... the magic again is in the music and when you can't hear it you can't dance 'cept to the tunes mined deep within your soul the pilgrim's tired bein' on a stage tap dancin' a tortured minstrel show to other's tunes... not hearing no, really not feeling and now so clearly not caring when none can play a tune any can afford to follow... peripheral game on the edge pendulum swinging one way and disappearing only to appear again slashing colliding into all that's holy seeking victims in the sports of kings and pawns... jack, man goddamned road man i know what you know or knew mad? mad to live, yeah, right i know the secrets... all of them so what's the point? some place to live isn't it? or wasn't it? i forget sometimes and that's not always bad all things considered those secrets those glimpses into what really isn't... and what will never be they hurt damn man jack, friend i never met but always knew i know those secrets you knew and tried to tell only to see their spelling twisted it was noble 'cause what's in the mind can kill if you let it out or hold it in... sorry for now i know things that weren't your fault but maybe were mine but i doubt this too, only because i doubt everything else see jack, i learned ah man i'm only workin' the angles slidin' by and glidin' high that's my old old story a combatant indulged in glory on the trip of the fallen star flashin' dark star bright star morning star and isn't it all a set worth dodging? time sweeps an eternal montage fading oblivion rising around spiritual mentors strange folks these who come promising permanence and cerebral things and pawning it all for a sturdy coffin and it's a merry prankster flyin' over a cuckoo's nest... but that's just the age of insurrection showin' for i'll fly erect 'n' sigh direct it's a world an' word generations defined by evils and glenn miller's band had its hitler the enemy is always there... and for us, we went to our mind for ours daring the risks of conscious lament... the masses in my soul tell us then master of these things and those tell us then of distances defined by forever and eternity yea, tell us then of forevers crying about limits ...of distances devoid of boundaries as gods we're wrongly accused as men we're merely damned forlorn shaken creatures meteors minds set on becoming meteorites objects defined by final flashes and forgotten it's then for you master to tell your old story of the solid core foundation of wind yea, preach of the foundation of convection currents tell me master of my stake in morality speak to my soul of my ground in reality... fail me and flail against me tell me of the object of my affections and leave me then... hey man jack, listen something's wrong i've been on your road so long i'm weary what'd you mean about the road? was drivin' the mind cheaper? the show passes so swiftly it seems to be out there too long i know all about the end some say it wasn't pretty i'm not so sure see, the necessary must be pretty final statements evoke powerful method and does the method rule the self? maybe the method gone berserk? besides, if folks can't take a joke... and anyway too many learn of art from scientists the vernacular debate gives me no comfort ...it drives me wild... hey jack listen, we've all had our sanity questioned i know i have it's just that i don't know which side of the argument i was on seems like i remember winning though jack tell me again 'bout bein' mad to live i like that part 'bout bein' mad some would rather die than be mad or passé but everyone dies sorta cheapens the moment... doesn't it? maybe bein' mad's not so bad some say you dug your hole and couldn't climb out i like to think you made your bed and are happy to be in it dawn finally on a mystical plane life and death defining each other in ageless progression immortality embodied in wintry white exchanges words... wings carrying the keys of the kingdom of others and all the ages the heroes of the soul's support are dead yet they live the essence is not on mt. sinai or in mecca not even is it in dissection or exemplification for the journey's the grail nothing else and art is forever the master of science... thus the essence is deep mined cerebral ore and tumbling mountain stream of consciousness... it is because it is even to the point of chicken 'n' egg debates of existence and essence more than a trick of language the thought is and isn't faith it is the evidence of things unseen an element ignored on the scientist's charts as faith is a function of doubt everything else is a function of thought lightning and thunder food for the soul wind that bares the spirit rain that washes away the world a storm comes through near most every night so what is it i'm threatened with? aw, fates you must be kidding that's all you have to take or give? storms in the night? i feared you had some secret song some thought or threat an effort in the wings capable of robbing souls you fall so very short you see, the nihilistic revolt was a revelation from inside a place where hope doesn't reach mine shafts of darkest despair hidden tunnels where the rays don't penetrate deepest places of the essence where even the thoughts are blind foggy now and unclear images of times and things now gone piling one upon another the leaves of autumn memory prepared for an equinox of fire a spiritual pyre most holy and most feared the easy time goodness when all was well seasons of the sun of childlike faith dashed against boulders of deepening despair flowing lava melted before the light of reality and the heat of what really isn't the eternal conflict of an age within an age never ending disputes among the forces quiet confessional sounds ground to the shred of souls by the tortured ambivalence of paths and their near mystical allure time, purchased with the soul a price far too high a convenient peace and the deadliest of sins the glad handing contortionist of the spiritual honoring one and same twisting the suicide blade in his own back a side trip on the road to self real poetic justice i'd want the charges read to a tribunal of poets of my choosing thus safely assured of a death sentence i could go on living there's only one basic plot a universal theme avoiding monotony only because of the actor's skill at avoiding consciousness but never ever avoiding tragedy it's the fate when you come off the road ignoring the exposure risking those fates of vulnerable man dyin' the pitiful death years beyond its time and much beyond its deed a dangerous fire this time when a man signs up but knows better the view is of the short lives of insects and sunsets oh for the days when proof didn't matter and good times now forgot... look away... sending signals to the creator self fulfilling prophecy when all this and all that isn't going so well in and about the return of all ages aw, for the days of black and white two headed coin greatness deja vu and way to go compatriots snatching one more whatever from the jaws of decency way to go god's on your side you made him up he can be on any side you say used to worry 'bout dyin' before my time good old days they were been around now quite long enough to be parade marshall an' that may well be a war crime 'sides now we worry 'bout stayin' around too long at best we're only slidin' an hour in the early afternoon with dreams pleasant enough unless you count the evocations of ages lost in bitter times unless you count dyin' an' slidin' and fearin' to think with all things considered this circus is the show of shows but who considers all things? and with all things considered enough is never considered we're all sliding as time slips by whirring clock hands as the poet advised us to make it run but that poet died knowing probably knowing that for all there is that matters there's more that doesn't matter and so what of cries in the night? you pay your money and you take your chances and your choices so what's a few losses among friends or strangers you lost control of time when you first acknowledged it the rest was a downhill slide and when you consider there are no uphill slides it all isn't bad just quick and all things considered, that may not be so bad either the cross ocean ships are landing on shores the water's rising wind blows its melody a gravel truck symphony discordant beatitudes mother mary send us the rain prairie state blessings amid courtroom struggles it's a going out of business sale a freak show in a relentless sense 'cause death is what livin' is all about and what hand do you play... the one you're dealt or the one in your mind? yea, it's easy in fact, it's already been done go with the irrational nothin' says nothin' better for those downplaying the fruits sayin' they aren't so much as they were supposed to be for those who say the harvest fell short though watered by excess consider all things growin' have roots hidden fingers reaching an' stretching refusing to die strip the tree prune it shape it but the roots live and spread and survive to be far away on the journey to where what is really isn't ah, thought dream interludes of brief respite fooling oneself a choice forced by a theater seating one play acting with a serious set jaw the joke's always on the joker ....why not? survival with a smile sharing what isn't and the reverse hopes with the one loved above all mirrored image why not? it's a dog eat dog world and is this the diet for survival? not fully knowing still remains an expression of truth or at least hope if not faith or at its most basic a quest for the parts of the equation gut level honesty pre dawn style one of the small victories in an isolated war something that attracts the ire of mighty kings and parading fools to the victor will go death a worse more cruel fate awaits the grinning loser death times seventy with time off for self respect and ribald behavior smile now traveler smile no one escapes you knew it when you enlisted you knew you'd pay as sure as you knew you'd play.
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