Escambia University is again offering an introductory diploma in Plastic Surgery! For a cash payment of $500 in small American bills you will receive our famous Starter Kit For Plastic Surgery. That's right, you heard correctly. You will receive instruction in basic sutures, stopping excessive bleeding and general cleanliness. Along with your diploma you will receive a five gallon bucket (hard plastic with snap on lid!) of injectable putty, one syringe, one pair of heavy duty washable rubber gloves, and an excellent Gulf War era medic's suture set.

Hurry on this one, we're not sure how long we can offer this special. Unlike many of our other diplomas,YOU MUST pick this one up outside the twelve mile limit!


CONTINUING MEDICAL EDUCATION

ATTENTION EU PLASTIC SURGEONS:
All EU plastic surgeons are reminded that certain precautions are needed when operating on yourself.  Remember that objects are reversed in a mirror.