| OUR WONDERFUL PYRAMID TUITION PAYMENT PLAN "Pay Like An Egyptian" |
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| FOLLOW THESE EASY STEPS TO
RICHES AND GLORY 1. You
enter into a contract to pay for your degree. This entitles you to the
degree but more importantly, you will now be one of our exclusive
agents spreading the Good News about EU! We will give you an immediate
10% discount on your tuition! You are now allowed to sell the official
EU t-shirts, mugs, placebo vitamin supplements (EU Tabs-the invisible
tablet), and lard basters that bear the EU logo! You may keep a full 2%
of the retail cost of each item you sell. And you will be allowed to
enroll others in this program offerring them the same 10% discount as
an incentive. As you can imagine, with a 10% discount, an EU degree
will sell itself!
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Free Money!
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| 2. For each person you sign up for the Pyramid Program, we
will knock $100 off your personal tuition obligation to us. These
people will be your EU Team Partners! You will get .001% of each of
their retail sales. But wait, it's even better than you realize.
For each person signed up by your Team Partners, we will give you
another $10 toward your tuition! Now let's hear those naysayers whine
that there is no such thing as a free lunch! |
Easy Money!
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| 3. Each of your Team Partners will begin assembling their
own Team Partners. When one of their Team Partners scores a new
recruit, you will receive $ .005!! As these new recruits begin
assembling their own Teams, you will continue to receive still more
money! That's right, you can expect $ .005 every time a new Team
Partner climbs on board in your lineage REGARDLESS OF THE LEVEL!! |
In Just Ten Levels
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| 4. Counting yourself as the first level, if you can find
just ten recruits and they and each of their subsequent Team Partners
can do likewise, your tuition will be paid for after just TEN levels!
(Of course if you chose to borrow the original cost of the degree, the
nominal 22% interest rate we're obligated to charge you may cause you
to extend your lineage a few more rounds to avoid the unpleasantness of
dealing with our collectors). Keep in mind that you are also earning
the the full 2% of the retail price of all the EU logo products you
sell as well as the .001% of what your lineage sells (minus of course
our handling and processing fees.) |
You Can Be Rich!
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| EXCITED?
No doubt about it—your whole financial
future could be about to take a dramatic change! E-mail us and ask for
an application. We have heard many of the Pyramid Plan Participants say
that the program has created a situation where they can't ever imagine
not being involved with the College! What a great tribute!! |
Please
Note: The Pyramid Tuition program replaces the old
Laundry Exchange Tuition Plan where students took in each other's wash
for cash. Despite twice raising the minimum laundry charge, the plan
never really produced the huge profits envisioned by our Economics
Department. They are working with the Escambia University Think Tank
Inc. to revise the plan. |
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A teary eyed Midwest housewife writes: "Thanks to the EU Pyramid Tuition Plan I feel a deep sense of indebtedness to the school."
We often hear from those who wish to repay EU for their experiences. Typical response:
"I live for the day I can pay back EU for my situation in life," and "I think about what happened to me at EU every day of my life,"
Some, like this grateful graduate, include EU in their prayers: "I hope and pray the founders of EU get what they deserve."
One happy graduate frequently reminds us that he used his diploma to free himself from a cycle of mundane, low paying jobs: "Because of my EU Diploma, I can't even get a job flipping burgers."
One graduate is fond of frequently telling us of the impact of his EU degree on his professional life: "The aura of my EU Diploma has followed me into every profession I've tried to enter."
There is no end to what can come your way as a EU graduate. This former student was beside herself in gratitude: "What more can happen to me?"
Many grads have petitioned the government to recognize the achievements of EU. Many wrote: "If I had my way the authorities would look into this place."
"The courts should know about this," is also frequently said.
YOU'LL NEVER FORGET THE DAY YOU SIGNED UP TO GET YOUR ESCAMBIA UNIVERSITY DIPLOMA!
YOU MAY CONTACT US BY EMAIL ONLY.
Due to the often expressed desire of many happy graduates to "pay back" Escambia University for all we've done,
we have been warned to no longer accept letters and especially packages of any kind.