CAMPUS LIFE
OUR CAMPUS Located on a mythical scow constantly moving just outside American territorial waters in the Gulf Of Mexico, Escambia University operates free of government red tape and regulations. EU once had some questionable legal situations surrounding a few "unfortunate" surgeries performed by graduates armed with the Plastic Surgeon Degree we no longer offer. We deny ever having offered this degree and besides, the whining so-called victims of these medical procedures have had a world of job opportunities open up to them in carnival side shows. This is the kind of win-win situation that seems to follow EU graduates and those they serve.
We guarantee your campus living conditions will be exactly like the home living conditions you are accustomed to enjoying. We offer a money back guarantee on this. Not only will you be educating yourself through life credits, you will also be living in your own home—probably mooching off a friend, relative or the county.
The beautiful administrative
headquarters of Escambia University will be a constant source of
pride. Here the Escam slips slowly through the fog on its way to
a secret location in The Bahamas. We register our vessel in Liberia
simply to promote international cooperation and not to avoid legal
technicalities.